"The Next Step"

     One must always be in the habit to ask themself "What is the next step?" or "What else remains to be conceptualized/acted out?" One who is used to being in the child mindset is often used to leaving a portion of something unfinished because they are used to "Mommy" taking care of that for them, whether "Mommy" was their true mother or some other person or situation that carried the individual through their problems.

      A child typically does not have to complete the entirety of a task set before them. An older person will generally help the younger through the problem. The picture below illustrates a hypothetical example of this:

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     As one grows older they are encouraged or flat out forced to be fully or partially responsible for themselves. Here is an example:

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      An individual who is supported so completely that they are not even aware of what life is like without this sort of support will likely be in trouble, handicapped in a sense, whenever they must work through a problem all on their own. So used to having the crutch, the support of another, they will find it difficult to conceptualize how something may be completed fully. They will often complete the act partially in being so used to someone completing the remainder for them.

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This can happen in areas of business, paying bills, getting a job, etc.; also this will effect their personal life, messes of all sorts left around the house, leaving food out after preparing a meal, dishes unwashed, chores failed to be completed, an overall neediness in daily life, leaving so much for the new "Mommy", a roommate or a partner, to pick up the slack.

When one is waited on by "Mommy" and never taught or forced to become independent, the individual will fail to become an adult. A child is typically given less responsibility in regard to their age. There is generally an uneven balance between how much an older person gives and serves a child compared to how much they give back. When one is not weaned out of this unbalanced relationship they will be a burden to a mate, to friends, and even to their self.

When one is weaned out of this child mindset they have the chance to reach maturity. This sort of individual will be more likely to think , on their own, of what particulars a situation entails and devise a solution to the best of their ability.

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      A dangerous element to one's completion of the weaning process is the overprotective or codependent "Mommy". This "Mommy" is usually the literal mother of the individual involved but it can be any force which spoils one and causes them to fail to complete the weaning process. A mother can damage her children by keeping them children past the age in which a certain level of maturation should be arrived at. It is the mother's instinct to nurture; this is why many cultures take boys away from their mother (often all of the women) so that he will have a chance to learn what it is to grow beyond the child stage without her interference. Beyond the instinct to nurture, mothers also wish to keep their children from maturing because they know this process will make the job of mothering more and more obsolete. This selfish act is quite the same as if a mother broke her child's leg in order to have something to nurse; she is creating problems for the child so that she will have a handicapped child she can nurture.

      It is often that when an offspring begins to have some ability to take care of their self, the mother and/or father will criticize their child in order to keep a dominant position. As in the model shown before, when one first learns to undertake more of a problem than before, including a portion that was typically completed by an older person, the individual often fails to complete the action properly. This is not surprising; it is to some degree expected in the learning process. But the parents who fail to parent properly mock their offspring in their failing to complete a task properly. Instead of teaching them, leading them through the solution step by step, so often the parent will, do to their own selfishness, mock their offspring out of ignorance, their fear of becoming unneeded, and a desire to remain in a supreme dominant position (completely unnatural). This injuring of one's offspring's psyche, instilling in them a low sense of self for superficial desires, is sadistic. The ideal is to wean the child into maturity with kindness, intelligence, patience, etc. Each lesson will lead the child into a state of competent independence. The child will be all the more thankful the more the adult helps them reach a state of balance.